i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
