So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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