sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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