wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize