wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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