I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
