I cockslap morals
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize