This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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