yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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