I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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