im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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