Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
