So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
