We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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