Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
