So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
