I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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