It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
