if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
