Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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