She's JV to your varsity
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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