weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
