if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
