Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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