She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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