About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize