My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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