I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this just has baby written all over it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
