meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
