i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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