Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
