I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
