Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
another moral hangover. fuck.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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