official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
