I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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