I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize