but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
