this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
