No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
