Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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