I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
