did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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