lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
