I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
its liver damage thursday
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