Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
