Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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