I am puke
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
