Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just high enough for therapy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
