TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize