I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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