we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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