You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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