I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
