Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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