when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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