Just cropdusted the office
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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