Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
