you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
