He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
