i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
