and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
