i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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